|anybody out there....
||[11 Apr 2010|09:25am]
I'll be deleting my journal soon. you can't really hold to the past forever. I don't remember what's all in here...i know there is some really funny stuff from school. i think i will read it from beginning to end and then delete it. so here is a pre-mature farewell LJ, it's been fun!
||[18 Feb 2010|04:30pm]
how important is sex?
i guess it depends on who you are talking to.
i don't need it or want it that often but it is hard for my counterpart to understand.
i know he needs he more than i do , but does he really?
People want sex, they don't need it. Is that correct?
I guess it could be like caffiene but does one really need it?
I understand that I have to meet his needs as well but what if I don't feel the same? What if I don't want to? Not because I don't love him or because I'm not attracted to him. I just don't want it right now. I know I don't need it to get by.
I'm more dazed and confused then anyting. He says that I am hurting him but he is hurting me right back. If i'm hurting him it's not on purpose. Don't we let ourselves get hurt. Someone can say or do anything but it is up to us to react, not them.
Strangely enough, I'm not angry. I'm just very confused about what love is really supposed to be. I don't want someone saying they don't want to be in the same bed with me anymore because we in a dry spell.
:slams head on table:
||[10 Aug 2009|01:31pm]
I'm already tired of my job. well I'm not tired..I have fun but our manager is insane.
better news on the home front..too be announced
|Yay for Domino's
||[04 May 2009|05:06pm]
I am now a Delivery/Team Leader for Domino's!!!
Thanks to my skills from my previous jobs, I am being considered for a management position!
So wish me luck while I do the Hustle thing for Domino's!!
||[27 Apr 2009|03:01pm]
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) The Mexican
(X ) Fight Club
( X) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
Section 1: 10/10
(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Young Frankenstien
(x) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Saw
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
( X) Jason X
Section 2: 7/10
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
(x) Harry Potter
Section 3: 8/10
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Donnie Darko
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Section 4: 7/10
(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(x) 13 Ghosts
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
(x) Thirteen Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
Section 5: 7/10
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
Section 6: 6/10
( ) A Cinderella Story
(x) the Terminal
(x) the Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumb & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) The Ring
Section 7: 7/10
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Harold & Kumar - White Castle
( ) Practical magic
(x) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
Section 8: 3/10
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Coach Carter
(x) Bad Boys
Section 9: 8/10
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) oceans eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Predator I
( ) Predator II
Section 10: 5/10
(x) Independence Day
(x) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' daughter
(x) Maid in manhattan
( ) Frailty
Section 11: 7/10
( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
Section 12: 4/10
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
(x) Cruel Intentions
(x) The Hot Chick
Section 13: 9/10
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
Section 14: 7/10
( ) Hitch
(x) The Fifth Element
(x) Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars Episode VII A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Episode VIII The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Episode VIIII Return of The Jedi...
(x) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks
Section 15: 8/10
( ) Air Force One
(x) For Richer or Poorer
( ) Trainspotting
( ) People Under the Stairs
( ) Blue Velvet
(x) Sound of Music
(x) Parent Trap 1 (I saw the original and the new one)
(x) Parent Trap 2
( ) The Burbs
(x) The Terminator
Section 16: 5/10
( ) Empire Records
( ) SLC Punk
(x) Meet Joe Black
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
( ) The Silence of the Lambs
( X) Sleepy Hollow
( ) I Heart Huckabees
( ) 24 Hour Party People
( ) Blood In Blood Out
Section 17: 3/9
Grand Total: 110/169
|re-posting this with new and improved answers
||[27 Apr 2009|02:23pm]
behind the cut
1) What stickers do you have on your car, if any? Homestarunner
2) What posters do you have in your room? Pink Floyd Dark Side of The Moon
3) What do you hear right now? Some Isley Bros song my brother is blaring
4) If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be? Sweet Tea
5) Does anything hurt on your body right now? strangely enough no
6) If someone you hated died, would you laugh and spit on their grave? I don't hate anyone
7) What's your job position called? Slacker....at least i'm trying to find a job
8) What size ring do you wear? 7...or so 6 1/2 since I lost weight i think it depends on the ring
9) Do you own a camera phone? yessiree bob
10) What's your bf/gf's birthday? i don't have one of those right now
11) What was your elementary school's mascot? Warriors
12) What's your favorite bottled water? Dasani
13) What's the next concert/show you're going to and when? NO DOUBT in JUNE I think
14) What were you doing at 9 pm last night? I think I was here at my mom's on the computer
15) What's your favorite Starbucks drink? a mocha frapp..never changes
16) Do you exercise as much as you should? no but soccer helps
17) Did you attend your High School prom? once
18) Did you go to someone elses prom? yes
19) Would you give your bf/gf a second chance if they cheated on you? Yes, I honestly would. Especially if they went to the lengths that I did once upon a time.
Something purple within 5 feet of you: my jelly bracelets!!!
If the Matrix existed, would you want to know? i guess..if would help save me from something
How long can you hold your breath underwater? i dunno i don't go into pools anymore
Favorite tootsie pop flavor: don't have one
Your nails were last painted?: 3 months ago
The weirdest thing you've ever heated in the microwave? an egg or maybe a peep
Ever done the Electric Slide? of course!
How much Japanese do you know?: very very little
Sparkly things? i don't have any..still don't have any
Ever crash a car, been in accidents?: never crashed a car and yes i have been in an accident
Do you look good in yellow?: yes
Do you sing? when i want to
Ever sang in front of a crowd?: yes
Do you dance? i like to think that i do
Is your hair long enough to chew on? nope
Least favorite color? white
Favorite kind of pizza?: supreme minus the onions
Ever had Dippin' Dots?: yes it was interesting
Ever played an instrument? man do i ever
How old were you when you got a cell phone? 18
How old were you when you got your first car? 16 but it was a hand me down so technically 18
How many tickets do u have? 2 parking tickets from the evil parking nazi's and 1 spending ticket that i didn't have to pay.
How long have you been driving? 9 years...geez
How many parking tickets? see above
Do you own your own car? kinda..still have some more payments to go
What kind of car is it? 1997 Honda Civic crappy automatic!!!
Do you want to get married? one day but i would rather it just happen then plan for it. I liked being surprised a lot more than what you guys think
At what age do you want to get married? doesn't matter
Have you ever been married? no
At what age do you want to have kids? I have one and want just one more.
How many kids? 1
Do you believe in divorce? yes if it's for a good cause like abusive relationships
||[23 Apr 2009|05:40pm]
Doing better. Finally got a certain someone out of my system. They've only been in this new relationship for about 3 weeks and they are already in love? whatever.
anyways getting back to being the The Stizz. hung out with a great friend last night. you learn so much about a person once you get to know them!!!
|i hope these meds work
||[19 Mar 2009|11:38am]
I hate how I am feeling now.
I hate not being able to talk to someone I still consider a friend.
I know I'm not obsessed I just miss him.
I just want to still be nice but I can't.
I'm pretty sure he ignores me on purpose.
I hope that I can be better by next month.
I have to stop from crying in front of Lorelei.
She thinks that Dad has done something but really I'm just sad.
I can't ever be all the way out of his life because of Lorelei.
I know he knows I'm still here.
I just have to get over this pain and this hurt and sadness.
I wish I could just take a week off and cry it all out.
As I type this I'm trying not to cry.
|i made a promise i have to keep it
||[18 Mar 2009|09:36am]
I made a promise to mike that I would stay out of his life and his personal life.
This hurts so much. Even right now "he honestly hates his life" and I can't say anything about it.
I care for him, I don't want him to hate his life. I'm sure its because of me that he hates his life. He wants me to stay out of it and leave him alone. He doesn't even consider me his friend anymore.
I hate seeing those words,I wish I can say something because I do care but I can't because I'm afraid that it will make it worse. I know he knows I care about him but if you don't show someone you care words are just words.
This is really hard. I've never had to turn my back on someone before but he is asking me to.
I'm afraid to date because I feel guilt. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to get medication for my depression. I don't even like to get up in the mornings.
Lorelei is probably the only person that I don't dread seeing. I love her so much and I wish that she didn't have to go thru this. I just want to take her and be by ourselves but I can't because that's not right. I just need a lot of love and support and a lot of prayer!
The main reason for this post is that I see my friend hurting and I can't do anything about it.That just about kills me.
||[11 Mar 2009|04:47pm]
so i did try to convince myself to talk to someone else but it just ain't happening.
now i know you guys think i'm crazy but its just the type of person that I am.
I take a lot a crap for a long time and then it sets in. please don't respond to this post if you're just going to put me down or whatever. these are my feelings and at the moment i cannot help them. my doctor says that it's perfectly ok as long as I know how to deal which I do not. So y focus now is to not try and find someone else but to deal with it differently.
i need to stop overreacting and whatnot. since i'm now off on wednesdays and thursdays i try to think of fun things that lorelei and i can do. i think we're going fishing next week.that should be interesting. anywho yes it may seem that i am stuck but i'm going to deal with the crumbs as they come.
|did i mention how angry i am.....
||[20 Jan 2009|12:32pm]
forget the heartache and the sadness....
i'm furious and outraged.
i trust and believe but ooo you change your mind!
Not again will I fall for this trick.
you are indeed a loser..good thing you got that tattoo.
i hope that whenever you are ready i can look you in the face and say NO!
I hope that I have that strength to not give in even though I want to so bad.
I'm not going to fall for it again.
||[18 Dec 2008|02:03pm]
1. I never understood why you play cello.
2. I don't really have a song or movie..something country would fit.
3. it takes skill to drive a manual with flip flops on.
4. definitely orientation...me you and bekah had problems registering.
5. eeyore....only because life throws you lemons but you still somehow keep a great attitude.
6. Why aren't you a counselor?
7. They way you cheer people up!!
|i guess i'll paly
||[12 Dec 2008|03:42pm]
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (if possible. if not, it'll say something that only makes sense to me).
4. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
7. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
8. if you play, you MUST post this on yours.
||[18 Nov 2005|10:35am]
after an hour of grueling play:
i made it to oregon.
i have 3326 points and i made
the top ten list.
So what now?
||[17 Nov 2005|04:30pm]
damn oregon trail!
i was floating down the columbia
last thing you have to do to beat the game
and wham i hit the shore
only because it looked like the place
where i was supposed to dock
and all my other people were dead.
how can one stress over an apple game?
||[17 Nov 2005|10:58am]
O how I love the X-files.
the first time around i was not a fan of season 2
but watching it again...i think it might be the best.
||[16 Nov 2005|05:39pm]
You fit in with:
Your ideals are mostly spiritual, but in an individualistic way. While spirituality is very important in your life, organized religion itself may not be for you. It is best for you to seek these things on your own terms.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
||[16 Nov 2005|06:31am]
i'm going to need for ISIS not to be dumb
it should know what year I am so I can register
when it says I should. Is it possible for a computer program to be
dumb or do they just say it's running slow.
slow can also be used to describe something that is not up
to the correct IQ level. (where are the big words when i need them?)
I hope that bekah gets her math class and Daniel has a even better
time ranting at the people in the business office..wherever that is.
i tried to save myself from consecutive early days but it failed.
the 930 english for downtown was filled and i am in the 830. i'm hoping that
somebody will drop the 930 because i and others have to wake up for
music history at 8 on tuesdays. ugh. damn whoever changed the times for music stuff.
i can gladly say that for once i am glad that ensemble is in the morning or else
i would be in class all day.
||[16 Nov 2005|05:56am]
waiting to register!
and some kids at work put pixi stixx dust on my my car.
i'm worried about the paint cause i know when ice cream
leaks on it from trash bags it eats the paint same thing with
tree sap. i'm going to get it painted some time in the future.
be back later
||[15 Nov 2005|03:59pm]
i didn't know a lot of my close friends were into wrestling.
i try to keep the fact hidden that for a whole summer i was glued
to smackdown and raw and that i hated eric bischoff with a passion.
i also wanted the rock to remain undisputed forever but then that brock lesnar
guy showed up.
I shall pay my repsects now to one of the greatest.